I’m tired of being told that pansexuals fall in love with personalities and with people, rather than fall in lust with bodies and genders. In no other definition of sexuality does the word “love” pop up so frequently. Homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, even asexuality, all rely on words like “attraction” when we define them, which implies a range of feelings (aesthetics, romance, etc.) but most importantly, sex. Pansexuality, however, has been whitewashed of its sex, often in a sex-negative way.
What Does It Mean to Be Pansexual? - Gwen, Pop Shot Blog
I really love this article! It’s always bothered me when I identify myself to someone as pansexual, and someone then labels pansexuality as being gender-blind or falling for people based on their personality and this article (which I’ve linked to above) has helped me figure out and be able to articulate why it bothers me.
No I’m not gender-blind. Gender and someone’s gender expression can be fucking sexy and is absolutely a part of why I’m attracted to some of the people I am.
And I’m not attracted to someone for their personality more than most other people are. Yes personality plays a significant part in long-term attraction to me, but sometimes I do lust after someone just because of how they look or want to be with someone even though I barely know them and I wish people wouldn’t state that pansexual people essentially can’t be like this.
If someone identifies as pansexual it does NOT mean that they don’t see gender, and it does NOT mean that someone’s personality is the only thing that dictates whether they’re attracted to said someone.